Explanations as to Why some women-Managers are cruel. #WomenandMenAreLeaders,@femnetprog

News of elevation to a position of power is usually greeted with jubilation. But a woman, like all weak men, receives such news with jubilation mixed with trepidation.

This is because of two conflicting emotions: She believes she deserves it, and yet at the same time she fears she might disappoint in her new position. People have told her that she’s weak so often that she had internalized it and made it her reality.

In general weak people –reality or illusion- tend to make up for the weakness  by being cruel, bitchy and heartless in the mistaken belief that that will make them be feared and, therefore, respected. In essence they confuse fear and respect. Nothing could be, even remotely, further from the truth!

What women managers overlook is one important fact: once you have executive power your subordinates know it. Trying to prove it to them by bludgeoning them on the head with it will just create fear rather than respect. In most cases, fear breeds resentment which later develops into resistance culminating in non- compliance and sabotage.

This notion of weakness in women is so pervasive that even Connie Glaser, a “leading expert in gender diversity” in the US falls in it’s trap. In her article “get comfortable in your management skin” advices women: “as a new boss, it’s better to start out abit more tough than accommodating”. This gets one wondering, with friends like these do women really need enemies?!

Connie Glaser should read about the experiences of one Julie Culwell.  While manager of the editorial services at the coca cola company, she started of by distancing herself from the staff and keeping her relationship with them strictly professional. And she admits “in fact I was miserable and so was my staff”, until she decided to become close friends with the team members.

Having served as a teacher and a boarding master, I can attest to the veracity of Julie’s facts. It is easier to even control a student who respects and  considers you a friend,  rather than one who merely fears you.

Most weak managers pull rank because in their heart of hearts they believe the subordinates are aware that they are weak, and ,therefore,  won’t obey her/him. They see coercion or force as the only way out of the non-compliance dilemma. Such managers end up being concerned with position rather than in the efficacy of their management. It’s common to come across a principal who would expel a student who don’t fear her rather than a really rotten one who sees her/him and scrams!
This  “weakness theory” ends up, in the long run, affecting both males and females directly or indirectly. The people suffering the brunt of such a manager, as well as the other bosses conclude that women cannot be good managers. In short it’s a vicious cycle.

This  ‘weakness theory’ stems from socialization since childhood. That’s where we need to start addressing it. You have a daughter, a niece, a sister or any other young girl; it’s time to tell her she’s not that weak. She reports to you that another kid hit her, tell her what you’d tell a boy: if the kid  hits you again, hit back. This is a good starting point.

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