Who has “executive power” over the sex process? Man? Woman?

In a heterosexual relationship, the issue of who initiates, and indeed finally gives the green light to engage in the sexual act has always been an issue. This is especially so in cases of unwanted pregnancy where both parties are keen to apportion blame to the other party.

Men brag of having pick-up lines that’d make any woman “drop it like it’s hot”. For their bragging trouble, the society blames them for “impregnating the women”.

In many traditional  societies, a man accused of putting an unmarried woman in the family way (read: impregnating) was given two choices: either “pay for the pregnancy” or marry the woman. Don’t even get me started on the kind of marriage the shot-gun marriage will result in…

I used to think men are inherently born with this ability to have sex with any woman one desired, until I came of age and that theory’s rubber met the reality’s road. To cut a long story short, I realized that all the pick up lines were just that, pick up lines, and that if a woman doesn’t  “feel you”, Your Shakespearean lines are all to nought.

This assumption that men always call the shots in a heterosexual relationship assumes that women are weak, or even worse, less than human without a brain to think and make decisions over their own lives.

This can’t be so bad as it’s been going on for ages. However, just because something is done doesn’t mean it’s right.

As a society, We don’t seem to realize that socializing our young daughters as “weak” and telling them to say no to sex is basically non-sensical: either she is “weak” and can’t say No to sex, or she is human enough to take responsibility for her own life.

I posit here that women have the executive power over sex: they decide when and if the sexual act will happen.

My daughter has the ability and responsibility of taking charge of her life, including saying no to sex. She’s not an animal waiting for some pick-up lines to have unplanned sex. Your’s?              

Women do not have power over rape. That’s a crime just like robbery with violence, and I’m of the opinion it should be treated the same under the law!      

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One Response to “Who has “executive power” over the sex process? Man? Woman?”

  1. missmugethi Says:

    I agree with you. But it takes an empowered woman.

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