Archive for April, 2012

#Ngara #grenadeattacks: isn’t it time we pulled KDF out of Somalia?

April 29, 2012

For starters, and for the benefit of those with short memories or worse selective amnesia, Kenya went to war with the amorphous group Alshabaab after a few tourists were abducted, and some killed at the coast province.

The logic behind the war with alshabaab was that if we can take the war to their bases in Somali, we would prevent further forays into the Kenyan territory, of abductors who were screwing around with our tourism sector. This was an excellent  idea as it’s said in football that the best form of defense is attack. However,we deliberately disregarded a few facts which makes the war with alshabaab look like a sister to the war the US is fighting in Afghanistan.

First, Alshabaab is like alqaida: without a specific government within specific territorial boundaries. This brings up the issue of success or accomplishment. In Iraq, at least there was  a sovereign  country and a government headed by a president. The US army could point to the toppling of the regime as mission accomplished, and pull out with grace. In Kenya’s case, we are fighting an amorphous  group within a sovereign  country. Given that there’s no particular organizational structure which we are aiming at toppling, theoretically this war with alshabaab can go on to the end of the world without any sense of accomplishment.

Secondly, Many Somalis are in Kenya thanks to lack of a stable government in Somali in decades, coupled with the various environmental disaster such as drought. Most of the Somalis initially enter the country as refugees and then end up as citizens thank to the corruption within the various government department involved. In fact, I’d reckon that the better half of Somalis are actually in Kenya, either at the refugee camps, in eastleigh, or all over the country. And given that alshabaab doesn’t have specific uniforms, or a particular branding on their faces, they can easily mingle with the rest of Kenyans in Kenya while leaving a few armed men in the jungles of Somalia to keep the KDF exercised.

In fact, the presence of a lot of Somalis in Kenya has complicated security operations to flash out  alshabaab elements from among them. The government doesn’t want to appear to be engaging in racial profiling. While KDF is busy fighting in Somalia the alshabaab is here with us.         

Thirdly, the issue of going to war with Somalia to protect Kenya’s  tourism sector was myopic. Any sane person would have realised it would be much more cost effective to beef up security to the areas affected than taking Kenya defence forces to war in Somalia.

Incidentally, the KDF wasn’t even able to rescue the woman who was abducted at a hotel in the coast province. She was released a few months ago after her family and friends paid the Ransom.

Before the war with alshabaab, no kenyan lived in terror under the threat of a grenade attack. After the grenade attack in a church at Angara, and a previous one at a crusade in Mombasa, a lot of Kenyans  will avoid going to church, Crusades. In other words the war in Somalia is disruption normal social lives in Kenya.

KDF’s stay in Somalia will give lots of people excuses to use grenades on innocent Kenyans to advance their causes. Its now evident that the grenade attack are taking a religious nuance. Let’s just hope the MRC doesn’t do a collabo with alshabaab…
BY show of replies,  how many tourists would like to visit Kenya with grenade attacks right left and center? And I thought we went to war to make Kenya peaceful, I vital ingredient in tourism…        


Any kenyan deluded that the presidency is powerful enough to offer something to them?

April 28, 2012

Functions of the president

Article 132 (1) Ceremonial functions such as addressing Parliament, state of the union address,publishing the same in the Kenya gazette…
                   (2) President shall nominate, AND WITH APPROVAL OF NATIONAL ASSEMBLY,appoint or dismiss: cabinet secretaries, AG, secretary to the cabinet, principal secretaries, diplomatic representatives,

                    (3) more CEREMONIAL functions:chair cabinet meetings, direct and coordinate functions of the various government ministries and departments, assign responsibility for implementation of acts of Parliament…

                  (4) more ceremonial functions: receive diplomatic representatives, confer honours, declaring war WITH APPROVAL FROM PARLIAMENT       
                  (5) more ceremonial functions : ensuring compliance with international obligations of the republic through the actions of relevant ministries   

133 (1) WITH ADVICE FROM ADVISORY COMMITTEE, president may exercise the power of mercy. 

115(6) presidential assent: A bill can actually become an act of Parliament (law) WITHOUT PRESIDENTIAL ASSENT!

As things stand now, the only thing a president can do without consultations with Parliament or some other body is Declaration of state of emergency 132(4)(e).

So what do you think president will do for your tribe given that s/he even needs permission to scratch his behind from Parliament?

I know of people who were complaining about ODM’s incessant complaints of non consultation; wait till Parliament legally takes its role as the “Coalition partner”!

For all practical purposes and intents, the next government be run by Parliament.                                                                   
The presidency only appears powerful due to the stiff requirements for winning it.   

The Kikuyu community hold “peaceful Kenya” in their hands.

April 24, 2012

A story is told of a confrontation between the wisest man in a certain village and a boy. It was said that the wise man could answer any question put to him.

One day, the story goes, a boy confronted the wise old man with a question. Cupped in the boy’s hand was a butterfly.

“Is the butterfly in my hand dead or alive”, he asked the wise old man. The man looked long and hard at the boy.

“The life of that butterfly is in your hands”, answered the wise old man. “If I say that the butterfly is alive, you will squeeze and kill it. On the other hand, if I say its dead you will just open your hand and let the butterfly fly away”.

The moral of this story is neither here nor there.

The Kikuyu are in the unenviable position of determining whether the beautiful country called Kenya lives in peace and harmony  after the upcoming general elections, or not. Not because they are affiliated to one Osama Bin Laden, and his alqaida network, or that they  are followers of one Jesus christ- but because of the presidency

The kikuyu need the presidency like they need a hole in the head. They have had kibaki as a president for close to ten years now. How many of you has he given jobs to? Has their mpesa a/c suddenly oveflown with cash? Has any of them gotten an extra quarter acre of land? How about an increase in the number of sufurias in their kitchens, (as moi was wont to put it)? Give me ONE F-ng tangible benefit to you as a Kikuyu  courtesy of kibaki being a member of your tribe! For four years IDPs from the Kikuyu community are still languishing in tents with kibaki in power, can I paint the picture any more graphic?!

And Imagine this was the era of the old constitution when a president was, for all practical purposes and intents, above the law. If the president didn’t do much for you during those years, you can rest assured he/she will do nothing now, when the presidency is virtually ceremonial.

By clinging on to the idea that we must have a Kikuyu president, the Kikuyu inadvertently give credence to  the erroneous perception by kenyans of the other tribes that when a tribe has the presidency, all members of the tribe benefit immensely! 

Most kikuyu depend much more on business to eke out a living. Isn’t the president from our tribe but a conducive environment to carry out our various activities to earn a living as we’ve always done.

I’m not saying that presidents from other tribes will give them the conducive environment, no. Having a president from another community will just remove this resentment against the kikuyu for monopolizing the presidency, thus helping in cohesion and integration- all food for business to thrive.

A by-product of the Kikuyu campaigning for presidential aspirants from other tribes is that Kenyans will now shift focus from the current mode of campaign which is all about defeating the Kikuyu versus the Kikuyu hanging on for dear life not to lose the presidency, as if their lives start and end with the presidency!

Then and only then will the campaigns gradually become issue based.

I’ll state here without “fear or favour” that  any Kikuyu presidential candidate now is actually an enemy of the Kikuyu. He or she is a person who is willing to sacrifice the Kikuyu community  at the alter of the presidency. S/He doesn’t care whether your business collapses, your social contacts desert you, Nothing. As long as he becomes the president you can go to hell for all he/she cares! Or even worse maybe the leaders are myopic, can’t see beyond their very short noses. This speaks volumes about the supporters of such leaders. All of you supporting such leaders are like the clueless fly that followed the corpse to the grave!

It doesn’t matter whether the Kikuyu presidential candidate is a genius or not. As things stand now, all that most kenyans, especially ODM supporters,  will see and hype on is the Kikuyu in him/Her. In fact, if the genius  Albert Einstein  came back to life, and ran for the presidency, and it came to light that his third name is NJUGUNA, all anyone would  remember, by the time of voting, is that he is a Kikuyu or a “mt Kenya Mafia”!

I know some intellectual morons who will tell me Kenyans have changed, and that those are not the facts on the ground. To all of them this is what I’ll say in advance: Get your tiny brains out of the sand, or even worse, from politicians’ and NGO’s pockets!

To all my brothers in Kikuyu community, the peace butterfly is in your hands. You can set it free by letting  go of your presidential ambitions and we all live in peace in Kenya. Alternatively, you can squash and kill it by hanging on to your stupid idea of “the Kikuyu fought for independence so they deserve the presidency”, which will force the other tribes to unite (like they did under ODM in 2007) to try and get your claws out of the statehouse. The rest will be history.

This is a proposal for all the enlightened kikuyus. I realize we are few, but we can pass the message to our acquaintances. Do your bit.

Until we get over the idea of presidency as benefiting a tribe, we are headed nowhere as a country.

I know that all them big book state that everyone has the democratic right to run for presidency, what they forgot to include is that democracy must be tempered with a little common sense…            

#KOT, a runoff between @ukenyatta & @odinga_Raila is the worst thing that’ll happen to Kenya this decade.

April 18, 2012

Before  the start of the ICC trials, Uhuru Kenyatta was just another young man, raised in wealth and pushed into politics by moi. In fact, uhuru couldn’t have won in a contest between himself, Martha Karua and Peter Kenneth

However, it’s said that in politics any publicity is good publicity, and thanx to the ICC trials,  Uhuru Kenyatta has gained so much popularity in central and the rift valley,  that the likes of karua and Peter Kenneth can only be described as also ran. Clearly, there’s nothing so bad that it lacks it’s use, and the ICC trial is a blessing in disguise to Uhuru.

Most of uhuru’s supporters in central province are what I’d call “sympathy supporters”: supporting him for his perceived persecution on behalf of the Kikuyu. The rift valley support comes mainly through having a common enemy (ICC trials), and the the percieved need to appease the Kikuyu, having started the aggression during the 07’08 PEV, in which alot of Kikuyu living in the rift valley underwent hell.

Raila Odinga on the other hand is still popular due to various factors. For starters, the Prime ministerial post ensures that he is always on the news either on government errands or on personal political campaigns. Trying to tell these two roles apart would be harder than separating a mixture of water and milk.

Sympathizers of the original ODM doctrine of removing Kikuyu from power still stick by him, believing that he’s the best candidate to do exactly that. 

At the end of the first round of voting we will end up with Uhuru and Raila as the frontrunners, since none of the candidates  can Garner 50%+1 vote. This means a run off.

We will be back ’07 scenario, with a few variations: the year will not be 2007 & the rift valley will be on uhuru’s side.

All those who still harbour the feeling that the Kikuyu have had the presidency for far too long will gravitate towards Raila odinga. If the number of these kind of kenyans is sufficiently large, we can still  expect a variation of ’07/’08 PEV. It’ll also leave the country divided  

In all the above you must have noticed that it’s not about policies or economic agenda. These two guys have basically nothing to offer Kenya as presidents. Uhuru is just a reluctant  politician who has no idea what poverty or suffering is. This is well exemplified by his inability to actively lobby for the resettlement of IDPs. More was expected from him given that the Kenyatta family owns the better part of the central province’s land.

His attending a GEMA meeting which declared him it’s preferred presidential candidate reduced him to a tribal king, or even worse, portrayed him as a political novice. Uhuru now appears more and more as a puppet with some powerful individuals pulling the strings behind the scenes. Uhuru is the kind of a president who will tell people to eat cake if there’s no unga for ugali.

Raila Odinga is no better. In his many years in politics he has exhibited  a particularly destructive streak. The parties he has actively  wrecked abound, and he is also said to have participated in an attempted coup in ’82.

He joined moi’s government at a time it was busy trying to cruelly  fend off the opposition’s onslaught. He left the moi’s government at it’s weakest point (just before elections) thereby dealing moi’s plans a death blow.

On forming the Narc government, he immediately embarked on a campaign to demonize the Kikuyu (read: mtkenyamafia) in the name of MOU which culminated in the defeat of a very good constitution: the wako draft.

As a prime minister for four years he has  nothing to show for it. In fact he has effectively depressed the investment climate in the country by always threatening to pull out of the coalition with the excuse of non consultation.

Upshot: Raila is only interested in power and the country and it’s inhabitants can go jump in lake Victoria for all he cares.                         
One fatal character flow with Raila, and which could make him dangerous is his lack of respect for the law. You may all chalk down his “korti bandia” (fake courts) pronouncement to politicking, but remember he was the same person who said ODM didn’t have faith in kenyan courts during the disputed ’07 elections, effectively plunging the country into PEV.    




#KOT, there’s no good or bad tribe. All r EQUAL!

April 12, 2012

So u belong to Kikuyu, luo, luhya, kamba etc. Does that make you more intelligent, wiser, meaner, more criminally inclined, better leader than members of the other tribes? No!

Your belonging to a tribe is a social accident which has no bearing on the qualities you  will end up exhibiting as a human being.  if you believe in the various stereotypes bandied around as characterizing certain tribes you basically need  to grow up.

Just because your name is Kamau doesn’t mean you’ll be all kubafu like kibaki. Otieno will not necessarily be good at vitendawili like Raila, and neither will kinoti be prone to pronouncements such as ” you do not rape a woman who’s too willing…” like kiraitu.         

#KOT, This==>”@Robertalai: Harry Mwangi moderating Waiguru,Gitau and Kamau then the same forum talks of fighting tribalism.#connectedKE ” Is the reason I’m saying Kenyans haven’t changed!

April 11, 2012

Alai is just one of millions of Kenyans  who are yet to grow out of this tribal thinking where Kenyans are judged by their ethnic  names.

The assumption is that any Kikuyu currently in the civil service is there by virtue of belonging to  kibaki’s tribe. I’m sure there are others saying the same about  “Oduors”& “Otienos” being in the civil service courtesy of their hailing from the same tribe as Raila.

The NCIC is not helping matters either with its “ethnic balancing” proposals. It is giving credence to the faulty reasoning by many Kenyans  that once you have a president from your tribe, you and your tribesmen & tribeswomen will get jobs in the civil service.

Ethnic balancing will of essence make ethnic names the basic qualifications for employment in the civil service. I’m yet to know of the “tribe” of children from a union between a Luhya and a Kikuyu, for example. 

The upshot: Kenyans haven’t changed!

At our current state of mind as a nation, I have this feeling that if Jesus came back and said his name is Kamau many Kenyans would end up in hell…   


I digress with a joke from @Joelosteen about a God fearing woman who had a heart attack…#KOT

April 2, 2012

One day a God fearing woman had a heart attack, and almost died. She came to on the operating table and the only Question she had for God was, “is this it?”.

God told her that she still had 40 more years to live. She was so happy.

After recovering from the heart attack, she decided to have plastic surgery, face lift and a tummy-tuck, in the same hospital before she went home.

After the procedures and healing she was released from hospital. She was knocked down by a car as she crossed the street, and died.

On arriving in heaven, she was eager to know why God had broken his promise to her. So she asked God, “what happened to my 40 years?”

“I didn’t recognize you”, God answered.